my life in “dot points”

Well it’s been a while, between posts…. for a whole range of reasons, BUT I haven’t stopped “wondering”. Never a day goes by without something capturing my curiosity, and sparking a bit of “I wonder why…..?”

But today’s musing is more about something I have learned about “me” over my time in absentia….. I have been forced to live my life in dot points!!

Yes that’s right, I have been reduced to short sharp ‘headline’ grabs to get my point across ….and it’s killing me.

Before I go on, I must say that this blog is the one exception. You see blogging, like story telling is a one way dialogue. YOU the audience, read it if you are interested and if you’re not ….well…you won’t. It’s as simple as that (thanks for persevering 😉 ). But conversation or communication ‘exchange’ is a different ball game.

For those of you who know me, (I can’t imagine that anyone else is actually reading this ….but, if you are ….welcome) you will know that over the years I have developed a significant vocal challenge. I have Spasmodic Dysphonia …. a neurological voice disorder, meaning that  speaking is a real effort. Although my head is exploding with words, getting them out in an audible fashion can be a real ordeal (for me and for the listener), so as a result I have found myself ‘editing’ every comment to make it succinct and bearable all round.

Now that may seem an obvious and sensible solution, but for someone who is used to all the padding, the descriptors and the shades of grey in any one sentence … it is so bloody annoying.

There are also a  flip sides of this ‘edited’ communication …Like the questions that get asked in order to fill in the gaps and create the real picture….or the, “sorry I missed that can you please repeat it”? So in reality nothing has been saved, and I find myself collapsing with head spins or exhaustion having pumped out way too much air in the effort .

…Now don’t get me wrong, none of this STOPS me trying LOL (I would need to be 6 foot under for the talking to really stop) but it does cause enormous frustration and is so physically tiring.

At this point I will add that I am really really REALLY lucky to be living in the 21^st century where communication is so much more than face to face. In fact I would shrivel up without email and sms… .so on that score I am blessed.  BUT  again there is an expectation that messages come  in brief grabs, one dimensional, DOT POINTS!

For example, how many of you have noticed that if you send a regular email that contains 3 or more points or questions, only the first or last will actually get a response? If your recipient is really clued up you may be lucky and score 2/3…..but that’s pretty rare. Then the too-ing and fro-ing begins in order to get the other information you asked for in the first place, and you begin to feel like a stalker!!   Geeze Louise … how did it all get so tricky?

On a funny note though …. ordering my coffee has been a challenge right  throughout this ordeal. Picture this … a noisy coffee machine, cups clanging, music playing AND people chatting. So when my coffee order is a “book” in its own right (skinny, decaf, extra shot, extra hot, cappuccino) it’s no surprise that the barista  can’t hear or understand my request.

To be clever  I provide card with dot points … he then asks if I would like a tray to carry the 5 coffees !!!… gotta laugh,  I’m 50 something and vocally challenged…. but I’m not dead yet.