Archive | March, 2014

now I’ve seen it all…

31 Mar

Having survived my law exam first thing this morning ( despite very little preparation) …it was time to get on with the day, which unfolded in a somewhat unorthodox way.

After a late arrival in the office it was soon obvious that I was not going to get very far when I was called on by my workmate in distress.

Using my ‘best-rusty-nursing-eyes’, I did a  quick assessment of the situation (the chest pain, sweating vomiting and grey colour… mmm that’s gotta mean something bad)… then  I whipped him off to the emergency department with all his symptoms of a heart ‘issue’.

Anyway after about 3 hours… several blood tests and an ECG,…he was given a diagnosis of ‘STRESS’ and told to go home and take it easy. At that point I offered to do the 2 hour round trip to return him to his place safe and sound.nailclippers

THAT’s when it happened … I spied a woman driving along the highway beside me, fanging down the mountain at  80kph giving herself a MANICURE !! yes a manicure.

She had both hands off the wheel while she trimmed with nailclippers … not one but TEN nails, then she proceeded to apply a coat of nailpolish. What the  ???  … and I thought talking on a mobile or texting while driving, was crazy !!!

’50 something’…. and still learning about stupidity!

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time to prioritise …

30 Mar

exam

…so, no blogging tonight…

reliving the ’70’s…

29 Mar

 

Remember the 70’s when going to the Chinese restaurant was a 5 star dining experience?  We would get dressed up and head out full of anticipation… order  ‘the buffet’  and end up with more food than you could jump over. We all had our favourites, but they went something like … sweet n sour pork and anything swimming in honey…all washed down with a glass of Ben Ean Moselle or sickly sweet Sauterne.

Those were the days I hear you say. …BUT WAIT the 70’s Chinese Restaurant is alive and well in Richmond.chinese rest

From the minute we walked through the door we were transported back. The immaculate open space restaurant, where there was actually enough room between tables that you didn’t hear  every work being said beside you…waitstaff in black and white perfectly pressed uniforms,  silk flowers on the table, the mirror tiled open bar in the corner….and wait, the ‘faux brick’ feature wall.

The menu had all the old faves but with a few modern incarnations added, and the house wine was merely described as red or white.

The food was great. In fact we commented that it was a huge improvement on our last Chinese dining experience in a far more authentic, but somewhat dodgy restaurant in New York’s Chinatown. So if you are ever feeling the urge for a trip back in time I recommend you give Richmond’s East Court a whirl (but don’t forget your paisley shirts, flares  and blue eyeshadow for a real 70’s experience).

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more cozy cubicles…

28 Mar

Another cubicle complaint today …. I’m sorry to repeat myself BUT seriously what is going on ???

I know that I am not in the ‘petite’ category …. but nor am I ‘obese’and yet today I struggled to get into a toilet cubicle and manoeuvre my way around to ‘take a seat ‘.

Loo

Unlike the detailed explanation of my toilet experience @ Central Station  a few months back , THIS time I was in a  Public Hospital loo. …Surely it’s not TOO much to expect them to cater for the ‘average dimensioned’ woman’s needs.

It seems clear that the ruthless Health Cuts, of late have made their way  to the humble toilet cubicle…. we now have the  ‘bean -counters’ asking “how small can we sub-dived the bathroom…to get he most seats in place and away with it” ???

There I was sandwiched between the industrial sized toilet-roll holder on one side and the sani-bin on the other, with no elbow room at all…. I can only imagine the difficulty if ‘one of the sisterhood’ turned up with a baby in tow …. OR was eldery or disabled’ … It just doesn’t bear thinking about really…

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drawing blanks…

27 Mar

train of thought

tonight my brain cells need a rest

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wedding fever …

26 Mar

I’m not sure if it’s just my perception, but the institution of marriage seems to have had a resurgence amongst 20 Somethings…… Gone are the days of trendy singledom; playing the field and delaying the commitment until somewhere later in one’s 30’s.   These days it seems that the wedding bells are ringing and the aisles are being walked with regularity.

In fact I know of 5 weddings over this 2 week period . Now, regardless  of the  dramatically different  degrees of ‘traditional’…. they are each taking the plunge with a ceremony of sorts… and having a reception, the cost of which could feed a small country.

I guess that’s not new really; the cost of weddings has always been a topic of great debate, from the simple …”who pays for what?”  and “how much is reasonable to spend”?, to more recently….”who can  have the most elaborate pre wedding event”? (think hens weekend away cruising the high seas) …and “how much is it fair to expect bridesmaids to chip in for ‘said’ weekend”?

BUT forgetting cost, what happens when…with only days to go… good times suddenly turn bad?bridesmaid 1

Imagine this. The day is approaching and the stress is mounting… Final dress fittings reveal bridesmaids who no longer fit their dress …(OR dresses that don’t fit the bridesmaid …whichever you prefer). Either way with only days to go, it’s a huge .. “ooops” !!

This scene has played out in my office twice this week, and let’s just say…there is NO easy solution. HOWEVER….starvation and Brigit Jones undies are a good starting point.

Good Luck to you all & may ill fitting dresses be the extent of your life’s problems.

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say what ???

25 Mar

I was sitting in a staff meeting today, discussing ‘way-finding’…, ‘dashboards’…, ‘pit-stops’…, ‘on-boarding’ and‘satellite services’ …all (more or less) in the one sentence.

Those of you who know me, also know that I work in the public sector … So ten points to anyone who can guess what the hell it was all about… but first let me tell you that it was NOT related to:

  •          Holiday planningsatellite
  •          Race car driving
  •          Anything aeronautical
  •          Anything about navigation

The fact is that we are all so busy recreating our language and creating the illusion of slick-efficiency, while we struggle to keep up with what it is we are really employed to do ….

BUT I have said many times over that this blog is not the place for whining,or political grandstanding … so let’s just laugh and move on….(I’m sure I can find my way without a way-finding strategy).

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the joke’s on me…

24 Mar

Most of you know of my horror in relation to bad public spelling…you know …when sign-writing goes wrong (not that it’s ok to do it in private , but somehow   it is 1000 times worse when it is painted on a sign that shouts  “I’m stupid”)…So, you can imagine my delight when I came across a painted sign advertising ‘amstaffs’  for sale.P1130213

The handmade advert sign caught my eye and immediately pricked my curiosity, in fact enough that I drove around the block to take another look and snap a photo to share with you all.

After all… how could anyone spell “Mastiff” wrong ? …not once but twice.

However, before putting my fingers to work and taking the high moral ground on this I ‘googled’  the offending word and bugga me, it is a legitimate breed of pup…. an Amstaff is an American Staffy.

Who would have thought it ? but why am I surprised in these times of labradoodles, cadoodles , boxerdoodles, cockerpoos, bossi-poos and ‘bich-poos’  Yes all real, just to name a few  !! check them out

So my apologies to the people on March Street who are doing their best to find homes for their amstaff puppies .. my bad.

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24huge hours of nostalgia…

23 Mar

the 24 hour marathon began with a trip to the zoo last night to see Aussie rockers Daryl Braithwaite and Ross Wilson (from ‘back in the day’ ) sing their hearts out for us…just downhill from the elephants. They transported us back to  our mis-spent youth, while prancing around the stage with their stiff arthritic hips (just like half of the audience)… all I could think was thank god arthritis does effect vocal cords…

Then today it was off to the alma mater to catch up… compare notes… and tell lies about life over the past 40 years.

reunion

 

Most people that ever brave the invitation to attend a reunion …come away glad that they did..and today was no different.

BUT …..It’s late and I’m tired, so I’m going to cheat by posting the following tips from Marie-Claire, about how to handle the small talk if you ever find yourself to attend a school reunion…. enjoy.

What to say if you haven’t quite “lived up to your full potential”

THE SPIN: “I love cuddling up to my big guy every night — he’s my best friend.”
THE TRUTH: Your bullmastiff, Colby, is tired of spooning.

THE SPIN: “My place is cool — it has a sunken living room!”
THE TRUTH: You’re still living in your parents’ basement.

THE SPIN: “I’ll have my girl Joan call you to set up a lunch.”
THE TRUTH: Joan is your cubemate who owes you for covering for her after a four-hour shopping spree.

THE SPIN: “I’m active in children’s charities.”
THE TRUTH: You drop the change from your Big Mac into the Ronald McDonald House box.

THE SPIN: “The family’s great!”
THE TRUTH: Your bro is in jail, your sis is in porn, you haven’t seen the folks since graduation.

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is cleanliness really next to godliness?…

22 Mar

Today when we stopped for lunch on our way back from the north coast, I sat completely absorbed in my people ‘watch and wonder’ state, and I found it hard to take my eyes off a ‘30 Something’  guy sitting nearby. No, not in any inappropriate way… but for a while I couldn’t quite figure out what it was that was odd about him.

After a few minutes, it occurred to me… he was too CLEAN and too PERFECT.

He was casually dressed… but there was nothing  casual whatsoever about his appearance.ken and barbie His freshly cut, short back-n- sides hair, his face  so cleanly shaven that it was shiny, his plain white T shirt was like an ad for washing powder, and his blue demin jeans where the perfect grade of fade, AND had creases ironed into them for goodness sake (who does that these days?)…Then I got to his feet! He was wearing ‘dress thongs’, but his feet looked like he had just had a pedicure. In fact he almost reminded me of Barbie’s  ‘Ken’.

I know this all sounds rather weird; but he stood out because of his unnatural ‘perfection’… just not in a good way.  I couldn’t help but think he would be SO boring…he really looked like he needed to have  a few of his edges roughed up. You know,  some wrinkles in his clothes or tomato sauce stains on his OMO white shirt.

He left me wondering …how is it possible to be too clean ???

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