Archive | September, 2014

throw me a lifeboat ….

30 Sep

Tonight I’m going to break one of my own rules and have a real whinge….. So I apologise in advance.mailbox 1

I logged on this evening to discover my inbox chock-a-block and overflowing. No less than 220 emails 198 of them unsolicited … in other words, somehow the rubbish advertising leaflet litter that normally fills a home mailbox, had found it’s way into my laptop.

I know I’m not Robinson Crusoe…and that most of you will be experiencing similar traffic jams in your inbox… but I just wonder mailbox 2what can be done to reduce it (without ditching and creating a new email account). I don’t mind the odd special offer here and there if it’s from a company that I know and trust …BUT it seems that there is no rhyme or reason to the current tsunami of junk…. and who said they can do that ???

I was so frustrated that I hit ‘delete all’…only to catch a flash of 2 very important messages vanishing into my trash can (thank goodness I was able to retrieve them before they self destructed).

Grumble over …I’ll pull my happy pants back up now while I try to figure out my best option, but if any of you have a solution I would love to hear it.

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saved by the frumpy fashionista…

29 Sep

For those of you who follow my daily mumblings … I have an update on last weeks formal dress shopping fiasco…  Hey Sister Where is the love ?

Having ditched the idea of ever gracing that store again with my wallet, I stumbled across a strange little unassuming shop in my speedy lunch-break today, and I was pleasantly surprised to see a number of gorgeous garments on sale.

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I was even more amazed to discover that I loved four of them and after a Superman style change-room effort, I could have purchased any one of three. With the help and attention of the gorgeous young store assistant (as opposed to the frumpy, middle aged cow last week), and two other customers who couldn’t help but get involved in all the fun of formal fashion fitting…. I finally settled on one dress … 20minutes total!

Having found a perfect frock, and feeling like I had already ‘won’ … I was blown away to discover that it was on a ‘super discount’ list….leaving my plenty of room to accessorise, accessorise, accessorise !!

So… to last week’s “50something frumpy, wanna-be-fashionista” I say thank you … I won !!

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traditionally challenged….

28 Sep

I sometimes wonder where I failed ….(no doubt there are many answers to that)..but specifically in relation to family life.You see it has become evident over the past couple of weeks, that a lot of families have a whole bunch of customs and traditions that make up their year…..and we don’t.

I don’t mean religious rituals …I mean plain old family get-together’s and fun.

The nearest we have to tradition is our annual holiday destination with our lifelong friends. We go to the same place every year and we have a few ‘must do’s’ during our stay …..but  apart from that we are a small and ‘tradition challenged’ family.

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I don’t mean to sound like a complete flop…..I think we Aussies are generally ‘light on’ when it comes to ceremony and tradition….we are so easy going  (and I personally, hate predictability which may be part of my problem here) ….. BUT… I’m thinking of initiating a couple (not sure how you actually ‘create’ a custom …but I figure I can try) and I need your help…

I’m keen to hear what you and your family do on a regular basis… from the Sunday night dinner and the Halloween or Thanksgiving festivities… to the more quirky customs in your own home.

My only rules are: it must be fun…and not result in anyone rolling their eyes and thinking … ‘oh dear here she goes again’ …. 

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how big is that fountain of youth…. ?

27 Sep

How old is too old when it comes to trying to enhance your looks and reclaim your youth? I mean it’s great to see our elders making the effort to be fashionable, and to keep up their personal grooming…. but where does the  line stop?

botoxMr 50Something and I where visiting the Dr that looks after my 90Something M.I.L, and I was surprised at the promotional materials all over the waiting room walls … super-sized glossy images of flawless faced retirees,  smiling with their perfect teeth and sunkissed skin,  promising a world of happiness and fulfilment if only you embrace the latest injectable beauty…

Botox and fillers are being promoted to plump up and iron out your lines and erase all signs of aging…… But at 92??? surely  that’s a big job.

Now I’m not suggesting that older folk should be denied the chance to feel good about their looks, but the truth is those lines have been well and truly earned and  should be celebrated…. so pedalling these messages to an audience whose average age is in the 80’s, seems a little unrealistic and perhaps even a tad disrespectful. …don’t you think ??

 

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faster than a speeding bullet …

26 Sep

How does it work ? I mean seriously when you stop to think about it this whole internet thing, is bloody amazing…. it just seeped into our worlds, bringing with it a whole new language and putting an infinite amount of useful (and useless) information at our fingertips…. But love it or hate it, you have to admit it’s pretty incredible …even if completely bizarre.

Now I’m not trying to get all technical here, and really it’s a rhetorical question, because I’m not expecting an explanation at all…. BUT today It struck me that I have NO understanding of how it works. I mean who puts all the data somewhere in the first place, so that it can be found within seconds of click on the google icon? videos-internet

Today as we were cruising along the freeway on the sunny NSW coast, 20something daughter took a happy snap and ‘snap chatted’ it to her 20something  brother on the other side of the globe. Now the fact that he replied in seconds (despite it being 1am in Montreal at the time) was pretty awesome in itself, but when I actually thought about it my brain hurt.

I realised that I have NO idea how a photo can be broken down into data …sent around the world… received and reconstituted into an image ….with NO cables, wires or connections….within seconds!

And …what stops the all the signals getting scrambled, and mutating on the way ??  There are an awful lot of decoded photos flying around out there waiting to hit their destination and be instantly  recognisable.

I know this is just one the many mysteries of the modern age …but you’ve got to admit, it is more than a little fascinating, and I bet I’m not the only one ‘wondering’…..

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hey sister …where is the love?

25 Sep

I wandered into a formal wear store today, just for a quick lap to see what was on offer at a reasonable price. We’re headed to a charity ball in a couple of weeks, and while I’m leaving it til the last minute before I commit to my outfit (some serious backfat melting to do before then)… I’m looking for ideas and inspiration.

So… I saw a rack of half price gowns and zero’d in to one that really caught my eye… it was stunning, but I couldn’t see a price OR size tag. While I was admiring it I heard the 50Something shop assistant (who to this point had not said a word) say from the other side of the store… ‘forget it.. there is no way it will fit you’ . hep week

Unable to speak across the store with my dodgy vocal cords, I walked to her and asked the size and why did it not have a tag. She responded with a face that looked like she’d been sucking lemons… saying that it was a size 10 Then as she eyed me head to toe, she added… we wont have anything to for YOU, on the discount rack (says she, who was both vertically AND horizontally challenged).

Now at this point I need to clarify that despite my obsession with backfat,  and being generously proportioned I am not an especially supersized sister… but rather a tall average at size 14-16. I could not get over her atrocious attitude and her overpriced gowns… clearly she was having a really bad day (well at least I hope so) …. If not she really needs to find another job.

Tell me … where is the love ?P1000523

 

 

 

 

 

 

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the war has begun…

24 Sep

backfatI haven’t met a 50something woman yet, who is completely content with her body…probably any age really…but by our middle years many of us us feeling generally more comfortable in our skin, however we still have our pet hates… and mine is BACKFAT.

Even when I was a young and much more trim version of myself… I would look at older women and hope that those handles would never appear on my back. Not that I necessarily thought that the women were fat but I really didn’t want those extra rolls off my own… thank you very much.

But along with maturity (and less elastin) my worst fears began to come true.

Now, I can cope with the thicker waistline, heavier thighs, bigger boobs and belly, but I can’t stand BACKFAT ! (even the word makes me squirm)… so you can imagine my horror as I saw the ‘back-bra – bulge’ begin to blossom.

However life is not over yet and the war on backfat has just begun….and it seems like I might just be winning.

Backfat is the enemy and must be eradicated!!! I’m 50something but not dead yet !!!

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so many words …

23 Sep

words

so many words …so little time

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see you all tomorrow

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pass me a neck brace …

22 Sep

I’m beginning to wonder if I am ‘slop made’…or if other people suffer in silence regarding today’s bizarre issue.

Basically my problem is that my head doesn’t fit on a headrest. There I have admitted it, after years if thinking I am a misfit or have some kind of deformity…. (both of which may be true)….I’ve gone public.

My ‘issue’ has been a long standing one, but it was reinforced this last weekend, both on my plane trip and then in the car. In both cases I was tired but could not relax and let my head rest on the headrest without tilting back at a ridiculous near 90deg angle (well, I’m not so good with geometry, but you get the picture), leaving me with a stiff and sore neck today.

Over the past years I have contemplated this from time to time, and wondered if it relates to my posture. BUT I have checked the direction of my neck, and while it’s not perfect, it’s certainly aiming up ~ not forward like a turtle, which would at least explain something.  I know that the head support on the drivers seat is a precaution against whip-lash…rather than for having a nap while in control of the vehicle, but as a passenger, surely it’s not unreasonable to close your eyes and recharge the batteries while the road noise (or hum of the jet engines) puts you to sleep.

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Perhaps this is what I need  …

These days I am a bit more prepared (mostly) and when the trip is a reasonable length, I use a neck pillow… but it doesn’t stop me wondering who the designers of these ‘added comforts’ really are …and whose body they use for the template. (and whether or not I am the odd one in this topic lol)

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Sunday wonders…

21 Sep

I’ve been thinking and wondering about so many things today that my head hurts. So many questions and so much trivia that I don’t know where to start.

I mean how DO whales make it all the way from the Antarctic to far north Queensland to give birth and then return with their baby… without eating a thing ? Seriously ? I mean what pregnant mum can do that? and what other brand new baby would be expected to make that 2500km journey?

Then …when they do finally eat, why choose the smallest thing in the ocean when they are the biggest ? Surely it can’t be very satisfying to strain tiny little krill fish through your teeth when you weigh a few tonne…. I mean how many would they need to recover from a 3 month fast ?

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And there are SO many other questions after our whale spotting adventure today. …

Like, I wonder what clever person invented the self-locking plastic disposable vomit bag? (Thank goodness they did, after today’s “vomitathon” otherwise it could have been a very messy whale watching adventure). Instead, those of us that didn’t succumb, just had to step over the bodies laying all over the deck clutching their designer plastic bags.

Back in my old ‘nursey days’ we coped with the good old stainless steel bowl …then there was the paper bag for air and sea travel, ….heaven help you if you filled it up then had nowhere to put it.  But….with just a flick of the wrist  these modern gadgets are sealed and ready to dispose of in the nearest bin..

There are so many more observations… but so little brain capacity left …it’s been a huge week and I need to power down… BUT I’ll leave you with one more piece of useless information.

Hope you can weave some of these words into your conversation at work tomorrow… Good Luck !

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