Tag Archives: flying

what do eyebrows… toilets… people… and fashion have in common ?

30 Dec

I have to say …not much !!! except that they have each seemed to feature in my life on a regular basis over this past year.

So following a special request, and before ‘the-year-of-the-blog’ draws to a close, I’m happy to say that this piece of observational trivia touches on all of the above.

BUT… first I must  again comment that I’ve lost a day …24hours of my life vanished. Never to be seen again. So if you notice that we skipped from 28th Dec to 30th Dec …blame the International Dateline (and the fact that Australia is so far away from the rest of the world).

Now, as I have mentioned earlier…plane travel is a great time for people watching.  I mean what else are you going to do while strapped in that seat? (other than eat ‘less-than-great-food’, sleep… and watch movies). The people surrounding you can be a great source of amusement and entertainment …or a complete pain in the bum….But whichever way they go, they provides great fodder for the astute observer. Take for example or my neighbour who, despite establishing very early in the journey that I had no voice, so conversation was impossible ….insisted on asking me endless questions (prefaced with …‘Oh I know it’s hard for you to answer…BUT … what can you tell me about ….insert X,Y,Z …..for the next 15 hours)
P1010620 (2)Or, consider the super-sized gent squeezed between the armrests and looking extraordinarily uncomfortable (not to mention his next door neighbour) …or the four legged pooch who lays still @ his owners feet all the way from New York to LA ( I wonder what party drugs HE was on?)….the gorgeous young woman who ‘slipped into something more comfortable’ and travelled most of 15 hour leg of the journey in her skimpy PJ’s …the list is endless and the entertainment value priceless.

Then there is the morning ‘freshen-up’ ….Daylight arrives, people rouse from their drug induced slumber and begin to queue for the loo. There they are, all waiting to brush the fungus from their gaping mouths and prepare for ‘de-planing’ (yep that’s a word according to our flight steward), so the time taken in the super cosy cubicle is longer than any other visit throughout the flight… but that’s OK because we all want to look our best when we emerge from the airport, back on home soil… don’t we?

However, when my turn comes…to my shock and horror, I enter this slightly-warmer-than-is-comfortable space, to discover the residue of many travellers. Hand towels and loo paper strewn, water splashed all over the cupboard top and worst of all, a sink full of toothpaste spittle. Eeek !! True to my style, I can’t bear to leave it how I find it (after all…god forbid… the next person in the queue  might think I’M responsible …) …so I set about the ‘housework’ so that I can leave with my head held high.

That job done, it’s time to clean myself up. One look in the mirror tells me that 27hrs of travel was not the best for putting ‘the best face forward’ so a full re-do was desperately needed. BUT alas, when I get to the ….(you guessed it….) eyebrows, I had no colouring-in pencil or brush for a touch up. Arrrgggh !!!eyebrows

Always one to improvise, I reached for my mascara,  figuring that a hint of that would do the job …That was, UNTIL… we hit some turbulence  and my ‘hint’ became a solid swipe, and the colour turned out to blue-black rather than brown !!! …ooops, I suddenly look like ‘a horror movie right there on the TV’. 

So, after a few minutes of scrubbing, I emerged  sporting my black eyes (not QUITE what I had in mind to be ready to greet the world)  … BUT… the housework was done ….and appearances where kept up …in part at least!!

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go on…deep breath …then jump onboard

28 Dec

After our fabulous white Christmas adventure with ‘the best son in the world’ his gorgeous partner and our new extended family,  it’s time to brace ourselves and head for the airport… So, with the melatonin on hand,  the afterglow of the past 16days in our hearts … and the promise of a movie marathon, I think we’re all prepared to abandon ourselves, give-in to the thought of the pending 27hrs … and jump on-board.

I’ve spent quite some time reflecting on this whole distance thing…. and it’s quite funny really. Over our 4 trips to North America and Canada we’ve met  so many people who say they would LOVE to visit Australia, but that it’s just so far away ….Oh, and the fear of all our ‘man-eating wildlife’ …(mmm too much Steve Irwin I think)long plane ride

Hello …newsflash, it’s the same distance for us (and guess what….we survive).

I think a lot of it has to do with how you think about it ….I have a tendency to look forward to forced R&R..after all there is not much you can do, other than go with the flow, watch the people, and enjoy the ride. You’ve just gotta hope for ‘good neighbours’.

 

Deep breath – here goes …see you on the other side !!!

 

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flying high ….

2 Apr

Tonight’s observation relates to how we live almost every aspect of our lives online … not saying that’s a good or a bad thing… No doubt there are many many advantages to steam-lining systems and going paperless and person-less, BUT I must admit to having a chuckle this afternoon as I did my online check-in for flights tomorrow, and pondered where we have ‘progressed’ to these days.security

I got through the first few steps …click, next page click… ready to print and up pops the  security check. Are you planning to carry any explosives on-board?      I laughed out loud… thinking…

 “mmm well actually I thought I might, but perhaps I should consider whether I really need them this trip” – then checked “NO”

Then I remembered my of my recent experience doing our ESTA application to go to USA … and the questions:

Are you a ‘drug abuser’ or addict?… Do you have a mental health disorder? Do you have a communicable disease such as Chancroid, Gonorrhea, Leprosy, Syphilis, or Tuberculosis? …’mmm now let me think about this” !

These questions seem completely bizarre to be  written in black n white with no human context…no sensitive enquiry about health conditions and no sense of needing to tell the truth.

I can’t seriously imagine ANYONE ticking “yes I am mentally ill, have syphilis and currently smoke crack” … I mean REALLY?… can you?

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excess baggage ….

27 Feb

There has been a lot said lately about the dramatic rise in steroid use….for a whole lot of reasons; and while the debate is raging about health impacts, costs to the health system, and cheats in sport….I haven’t yet heard anyone discuss the impact of steroids on flying.  ….(yep stick with me).muscles

Sitting in the airport yesterday I was struck by the number of fellas having trouble walking, with their over pumped thighs, triangular torsos and Popeye-like biceps…. I began to wonder if there was a muscle man convention happening somewhere …Then it hit me… SOMEONE (in this case many someones) would need to sit beside these blokes on the plane.

Anyone who has flown knows the limited personal space available, so the thought of having mine intruded on by all that hormone filled bulk for a 22 hour flight was just terrifying.

It got me thinking whether there should be an ‘excess bulk’ levy for these deliberately ‘image enhanced’ travellers.

However, I am happy to report that whatever was going on, it wasn’t in LA or New York ….we were safe from the ravages of a steroid enhanced flight…this time.P1120701