Tag Archives: beauty

what do eyebrows… toilets… people… and fashion have in common ?

30 Dec

I have to say …not much !!! except that they have each seemed to feature in my life on a regular basis over this past year.

So following a special request, and before ‘the-year-of-the-blog’ draws to a close, I’m happy to say that this piece of observational trivia touches on all of the above.

BUT… first I must  again comment that I’ve lost a day …24hours of my life vanished. Never to be seen again. So if you notice that we skipped from 28th Dec to 30th Dec …blame the International Dateline (and the fact that Australia is so far away from the rest of the world).

Now, as I have mentioned earlier…plane travel is a great time for people watching.  I mean what else are you going to do while strapped in that seat? (other than eat ‘less-than-great-food’, sleep… and watch movies). The people surrounding you can be a great source of amusement and entertainment …or a complete pain in the bum….But whichever way they go, they provides great fodder for the astute observer. Take for example or my neighbour who, despite establishing very early in the journey that I had no voice, so conversation was impossible ….insisted on asking me endless questions (prefaced with …‘Oh I know it’s hard for you to answer…BUT … what can you tell me about ….insert X,Y,Z …..for the next 15 hours)
P1010620 (2)Or, consider the super-sized gent squeezed between the armrests and looking extraordinarily uncomfortable (not to mention his next door neighbour) …or the four legged pooch who lays still @ his owners feet all the way from New York to LA ( I wonder what party drugs HE was on?)….the gorgeous young woman who ‘slipped into something more comfortable’ and travelled most of 15 hour leg of the journey in her skimpy PJ’s …the list is endless and the entertainment value priceless.

Then there is the morning ‘freshen-up’ ….Daylight arrives, people rouse from their drug induced slumber and begin to queue for the loo. There they are, all waiting to brush the fungus from their gaping mouths and prepare for ‘de-planing’ (yep that’s a word according to our flight steward), so the time taken in the super cosy cubicle is longer than any other visit throughout the flight… but that’s OK because we all want to look our best when we emerge from the airport, back on home soil… don’t we?

However, when my turn comes…to my shock and horror, I enter this slightly-warmer-than-is-comfortable space, to discover the residue of many travellers. Hand towels and loo paper strewn, water splashed all over the cupboard top and worst of all, a sink full of toothpaste spittle. Eeek !! True to my style, I can’t bear to leave it how I find it (after all…god forbid… the next person in the queue  might think I’M responsible …) …so I set about the ‘housework’ so that I can leave with my head held high.

That job done, it’s time to clean myself up. One look in the mirror tells me that 27hrs of travel was not the best for putting ‘the best face forward’ so a full re-do was desperately needed. BUT alas, when I get to the ….(you guessed it….) eyebrows, I had no colouring-in pencil or brush for a touch up. Arrrgggh !!!eyebrows

Always one to improvise, I reached for my mascara,  figuring that a hint of that would do the job …That was, UNTIL… we hit some turbulence  and my ‘hint’ became a solid swipe, and the colour turned out to blue-black rather than brown !!! …ooops, I suddenly look like ‘a horror movie right there on the TV’. 

So, after a few minutes of scrubbing, I emerged  sporting my black eyes (not QUITE what I had in mind to be ready to greet the world)  … BUT… the housework was done ….and appearances where kept up …in part at least!!




“x” rated landscaping

14 Oct

One of the huge challenges of growing up into a ‘50something’ is learning to accept the person who stares back from the mirror.

I mean …. who IS that with the ‘not-so-taught-skin’, the nipples that now seem to prefer the view of the floor, the thinning eyebrows, the wobbly butt and the thickened waist… not to mention the grey roots ? I think all of us ‘more-than- mid-lifers’   are familiar with, and happy to talk about these fairly confronting changes … but the one sign of ‘maturity’ that we tend not to discuss …is the greying of our pubes. (I told you this was “x” rated)

pubespubes 2

from this                                                                          to this

Over the weekend I shared many giggles about all things aging with my ‘50something’ friend ….and this topic soon came up. We agreed that there is no greater indicator that you are getting old, than thinning-grey pubic hair. I mean what can you do to disguise it ??? hair dye seems a little extreme and probably not real effective given the rapid rate of follicle replacement ….. Getting rid of it altogether ? well that’s an option I guess, but there is definitely the pain factor ….and then regrowth ….PLUS the fact that our skin aint as tough as it used to be …..so fronting up for a Brazilian may result in more than just the embarrassment of bearing all to some gorgeous young thing who is about to see just how old you really are!!!

Landscaping trends are a definite age defining fashion statement.

There are those (around our tender ages) that are happy to settle for the summertime edge trim … a ‘bit of a one-go’ with either the wax or razor to keep any ‘strays’ under control when at the beach or poolside…Yet our younger generations are much more likely to make their fashion statement by whipping it all (or most of it) off entirely….to achieve a pre-pubescent look (that I personally find a bit disturbing).

It’s a fascinating topic but not normally one that gets much air-time …. so I’m happy to have thrown the gauntlet to all of you to embrace whatever fashion takes your fancy …. we may be 50Something … but we’re not dead yet.



quick, call 000…I need a pedicure

13 Sep

Amid an already busy day today, I suddenly realised that I MUST have a pedicure….and have it now.

The spring temperatures are beginning to feel a little more like early summer and I’m heading outback to Alice Springs tomorrow, where temps are predicted to be around 30deg….so after months of boots, I can feel a serious sandal week ahead.

Having driven to my regular summertime salon, I discovered that it was closed for renovations,  aaargh … I could feel the tension rising as the clock was ticking… but I headed to a newly opened nail bar to see if they could squeeze my in

Fortunately they could …and did, and before you know it my toes where twinkling and pedicureready to be seen in public.

In my haste to get out of there and get my grocery shopping done, I accepted the offer of ‘take-away’ thongs rather than sit and watch the paint dry….However, I had not accounted for the lack of ‘tread’ on my fancy new footwear. As I raced up and down the supermarket aisles quickly grabbing what I needed, I was struggling to manoeuvre the shopping trolley and had no grip on my feet to help. THEN I became aware  that I  needed to pee.

There I was engaging every pelvic floor muscle, while simultaneously gripping onto my pretend thongs with my glamorous new new toes and trying not to slip…. It was the quickest shop I’ve done in ages…AND as a result it saved me money. What a bonus…fresh feet AND money in my pocket!!

I’m happy to report that I made it home without any mishaps …my sandals are packed and I’m ready for whatever the week throws at me….It better not rain after all that !


phew… it’s not just me …..

26 Jul

eyebrows are a worry everywhere …see what the fashion pundits are saying

you heard it here first

(I always knew I was a trendsetter… I’m 50 Something but not dead yet)


panda eyes…

17 Jul

Carrying on in a similar vein as last night ….. I wonder at what point you TELL someone about a personal mess or clothing goof up???

You know the sort of thing… an open fly, dress tucked into knickers, spinach in your teeth, loo paper hanging out your pants…

Well….today I was in a meeting and I became a tad emotional, angry and upset . I wasn’t actually crying however a sneaky tear escaped one eye….before it quickly dried and things moved along nicely.

I left the meeting, chatted to a bunch of people in the hallway, had a coffee with a colleague… then went back to the car where I caught a glimpse of the ugliest panda eyes you can imagine. A huge smudge under one and a corner full of black goop in the other.panda eyes

Bloody hell, why didn’t anyone mention that I looked like a traffic accident ?? (while I was busy feeling quietly smug, as I was sporting my new, fresh hair-do). What does it take for someone (in this case, not even strangers) to give you a quiet whisper telling you to pull yourself together??

Anyway, lessons learned  …

1/ don’t save waterproof mascara for the summer swim season… and

2/ if I ever come across a sister (or mister) who is sporting some unsightly malfunction….I will tell them.

Would you ??


power to the redhead…

25 Jun

Growing up a redhead I reckon I’m well positioned to highlight the conflicted emotions that it brings…and to give a huge shout out to the rest of our special and different sub species. … (the REAL ones that is). Apparently we make up 1-2% of the world’s population which is clearly why so many women are  jealous and pay phenomenal amounts of money to join our elite club.

But it hasn’t always been so cruisey.  As a kid …and then right through high school,  I stood out like the proverbial dogs balls !redheadNot only did I have a thick head of red hair (as opposed to just a’ thick-head’) BUT I was always amongst the tallest in the class as well. What hope did I have of going under the radar ? or blending in with the crowd?

But sometime in my later teens the penny dropped that I had something others wanted….and at least I could say mine was natural…cop that cheats!… (they say revenge is sweet).

redhead1There’s a lot written about us… and lot’s of ‘less than flattering’ name calling (ranger, blue, ginger, carrot top…just to name a few) There have been hate crimes against redheads… (redheadism) …and as recently as 2011 one of the worlds largest sperm banks actually stopped accepting donations from red headed men because there was no demand for red-headed babies … how sad is THAT? (almost as bad a Hitler banning marriage between consenting redheads ….for fear the coupling would produce more ‘inferior’ offspring  …)

BUT hey.. were’re tough and resilient bunch… with higher pain tolerance that all you other softies, and apparently we can even manufacture our own Vit D.

So before you let fly with some racist redhead  comment …. just remember …as YOU  fade to grey …WE will gradually transition through all the beautiful shades of faded copper to rosy-blonde colours, then finally to silvery-white. No grey for us !!!


it’s a fine line between pleasure and pain…

4 Jun

hairdresser1Those of you that have been following my musings, will know of my hairdressing dilemma. How to break in a new one that I…  like.. trust… can get to easily every 3 weeks… and that I can communicate with (especially given my vocal limitations).

I found ‘Ms J’  and, while she will never be able to ‘fill the scissors’ of my old super-hairdresser… she is lovely and ticks most boxes. However…there is a new dilemma.hairdresser

You see, she has a school-based apprentice working in the salon, who is a shocker….surly, unfriendly and really really ROUGH.

The first time I was treated to her fingers at the basin, I found myself wishing that I was having hot pokers stuck in my eyeballs… but I cut her some slack because she was so young and new.

The second time I was hoping for an improvement, but alas no !… More pain, less gain and the best part of a salon visit had been reduced to torture.

I finally found the courage to have a quiet word with Ms J and was happy (but not surprised) to hear that many had gone there before me. PHEW …I wasn’t imagining it… and it’s not just ME  that she doesn’t like.. she really is awful at her job, and yes… she is ‘being encouraged to do better’

THAT was 3 weeks ago.

hairwashingSo tonight I went expecting to find a slightly less aggressive approach with the suds …(I  even dared to look forward to it)…  You can imagine my disappointment when  she jumped in and  started ripping at the roots while scrubbing the same spot round and round in circles for what felt like 2 minutes of sheer agony. By the time we progressed to conditioner, to her credit, she did ask ‘is that pressure ok?’   … so I guess you could say that’s an improvement.

Having survived the basin Ms J asked me what I thought,  so I replied that perhaps she should encourage her young charge to consider a career change….as a hairdresser she would make a great accountant (or anything really, as long as it doesn’t involve touching another person).



31 May

teethI have always had a ‘thing’ for teeth…. (I think you will agree, a great smile can really set off even the most aesthetically challenged face …within some limitations) and they are often the first thing I notice when I meet someone.

But this past week has been full of odd and very random dental observations.

Mid-week I read an article about the supposed ‘new fashion’ that it taking over from skin tattooing. It involved having tattoo-like images created on crowns, so you could flash your tatt when you smile. The crowns were portrayed almost like a piece of jewellery with custom art … ALL you need is to destroy a tooth or two,(and have a pocket full of money…they weren’t cheap).  BUT, as silly as it sounds…I guess when you no longer want it, you either keep your mouth shut or have it replaced with a sparkling new, pearly white one….

Next there was my very odd dream.. It was hailing canines and molars, and Mr50something and I were running around collecting them from the ground to see which ones looked, and fitted best  a bit like a treasure hunt ….. (I have nothing more to say about that … other than the words COMPLETELY BIZARRE)

Finally, we went along to the Lyric Theatre to see Strictly Ballroom; sitting in the nose bleed section, with an amazing birds eye view of all that ‘extreme fluoro and glitter‘ … the thing that glowed as brightly as all the disco ball, was the teeth of some of the characters. I don’t know if it was a costuming effect or simply a case of great sets of chompers being highlighted by stage lighting, either way they were dazzling.

I have no idea what if anything all this tooth talk is telling me, or why I am writing about it  but its just another one of life’s little curiosities and a window to my world.



good luck ….

19 May

Those of you who have been keeping up with my daily nonsense will be aware of my fear around changing hairdressers…. this might just help you to understand the reason for some of my anxiety.


Now I didn’t set foot inside.. I just parked at the door… but hey if I was an Age Persioner  I might just be tempted.

(my three favourite topics…hair…signage …and spelling errors… all in one post!)


faking it …

25 Apr

I am not a huge TV watcher these days… However the fact that ‘Mr50Something’ loves his telly, means that I get my fair share of the small screen by osmosis; as a consequence,bad-fake-tan I have begun to notice a somewhat disturbing phenomenon… everyone is ORANGE !

Now, I am what you would call ‘fair skinned’ ~ born with a mop of red hair.  I went on to have the freckles and whole deal, then as a teenager I soon became a fan of fake tan (back in the good old streaky spray tan‘Coppertone’ and ‘Sea and Ski’ overnight tan days).

I am still ‘all for’ a natural sunkissed look…BUT for goodness sake these TV presenters that light up the screen with their luminescent orange faces, have got to be kidding! Whoever told them they looked good?

I’m sure it’s made worse by being THAT time of the year that we are all desperately clinging to the last rays of summer, milking every moment before we cover up for winter…but seriously???

Whatever the reason, its not a good look, and makes me wonder about the benefits of black and white TV!