Tag Archives: middle age

skin deep ….

13 Aug

Where can you go and spend $280 to strip down to your undies and gaze at the amazing uninterrupted views over Sydney Harbour… while being tortured?

It sounds a little kinky… (we all know nothing is ever quite as it appears)…but it was nothing more than my annual ‘burn off’ @ the Dermatologists office. The thought of paying all that money for the pain and then saying ‘thank-you’ always makes me smile…. But I guess (a bit like insurance) it’s a necessary evil, especially when you have been ‘blessed’ with red hair and freckles….and have already had one melanoma ‘near-miss’.

Having said that …it was not ALL bad.

I’ve made no secret of my people watching habits…, and a Dr’s surgery provides a perfect and discreet place to soak it all up. Especially one that offers cosmetic dermatology as well as ‘routine maintenance’.facelift1

There I was with one eye on the harbour views, and the other one of  my fellow ‘waitees’…when I spotted her. A woman with a face so taught and smooth that it looked like it would tear if she smiled; and lips so plumped and upturned that she could barely cover her teeth (I reckon they might even flap when she spoke).. Then there were the tattooed eyebrows and lip-line that completed the work of art.

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Strangely though this artificially youthful face, sat atop a clearly ‘70Something’ body…. I wonder how you decide what bits to work on and where to draw the line…. ??

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nature calling …..again

3 Feb

Today I’m  daring to take the tone of the blog down a little and revisit our earlier observations about bodily functions, …. THEN  by adding the provocative question:‘is  scratching a back-itch better than sex?’ … (but more on that later) .bladder

Back to the bladder blog ‘need to pee’…which has brought people out of the closet…(or perhaps loo) to admit that they too experience the  ‘get home.., remove key from ignition.., balance the groceries and handbag.., try to unlock the door.., burst inside and rush to the loo’ syndrome. Surprisingly even men in their middle years have whispered that they have these urges (minus the groceries and handbag of course).

But today I want to take it a step further …to the physical sensations of relief when you finally get there. I thought I was a little unusual and alone in this one…UNTIL the conversation turned to the recent blog post …Suddenly I discovered that I am NOT the only one whose teeth tingle when I have been busting to pee …and finally make it.

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Is that weird ? …. Well, I thought so, but at least 3 other people have admitted to sharing the same experience.  Then along comes  ‘Mr 50 something’  who shares the fact that HIS hands and fingers tingle at that glorious moment of relief !!! … WOW, the things we discover about each other after 33years of marriage.

 Having peaked your curiosity ~ I think I’ll save the back-scratch for tomorrow night.

 (I’m 50 something …but not dead yet)P1120630

it’s never too late to become a pro…

27 Jan

It’s true to say that I have always been fairly average when it comes to ball sports. So I ask myself why  @ ’50 Something’  am I suddenly entertaining the idea of becoming a Pro Golfer?  Well.., perhaps that’s putting the cart before the horse just a little… but I am at least contemplating that I should learn to hit the ball.CAM00074

My experience on the golf course is ‘limited’ to say the least; with the number of games easily counted on one and a bit hands… BUT, I figure learning the game is a reasonably achievable goal for someone of my ‘middle years’….and who knows… I might even like it ( after all I don’t mind walking … AND the smell of cut grass is good, so that’s a great start).

However, today’s trial adventure onto the course highlighted that golf can in fact be a high risk activity. Accompanied by our three  ’20 Something’  companions, Mr ’50 Something’ and I were reminded of the dangers when I spotted the signs warning us of ‘spike bushes, snakes and unstable grounds‘…no doubt meant to keep us from hitting the ball into the scrub (yeah right …as if I have any control over where that ball ends up!)

Needless to say I managed to lose 3 balls to the wilderness, and left them for the snakes … but apart from that I think I did OK for a first effort…It’s just the score that tells a different story.

099Let’s just say I have a little way to go before hitting the Pro-Circuit!

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walking…the rules of engagement

12 Jan

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It’s not an unusual sight these days to see morning walkers out and about, doing their bit to control the bulging waistline; but never is this more evident than the holidaymakers in January on the coast.

All the ‘50 somethings’ with their new-found resolutions, flock to the foreshores for their morning exercise, before heading home for a cooked up brekkie, a rest and a leisurely read of the paper, followed by lunch and a well earned ‘cold one’(if they’re super keen they may have squeezed in a sleep on the beach and an ice-cream beforehand …but of course that’s optional).

The art of the ‘50 something’ morning walk is something worthy of comment. First of all there is the look…no sweaty gym gear for this lot; its fresh joggers, white socks, shorts and t shirt (more often than not, with a matching visor).  Unlike the under 30’s, who are pounding the pavement beside them in singlets with sweat glistening on their rippled bodies (and for whom jogging is as natural as breathing)…Instead, this lot stroll along with a pause here and there to gaze at the marine life or to stop and chat with a ‘fellow walker’… BUT as long as this morning ritual lasts a minimum of 45mins, it’s respectable to go home shower, flop and feel good about yourself.

Then there is the etiquette… the unspoken rules that say; stay to the left, allow the speedier paced to pass, and don’t confuse oncoming (pedestrian) traffic with any sudden movement…or worse still, no movement at all.  Apparently this is MY crime …. frequently accused of ‘not paying attention’ or ‘choosing my line’ too late, I’m beginning to wonder if  the ‘walking police’ will soon insist on us all having a pedestrian licence before setting a jogger on the pavement.

Still it shouldn’t be too big an issue; because for most of us it’s a short lived phenomenon and by February the joggers and visors will be securely packed…ready for next year.

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viagara ….and the old fella

8 Jan

Well here we are tonight P1120315surrounded by an auditorium full of baby boomers…. and listening to a stand up comedian wax lyrical about all things ‘middle age’. It’s hilarious  EXCEPT for the fact that I look around the room and think OMG   I am NOT as old as all these people …am I ??

The men with balding heads (and muffin tops spilling over their collars) … the women who look tired, and like the essence of their life has been sucked right out of them!!! … I’m trapped in a moment of dread and question …where DO I fit??

I know that it is right and proper that we pass the baton to the next generation… but somehow I still dread the idea that I have been relinquished to the pile of nondescript middle aged women who just blend into the background …like white noise.  Don’t get me wrong … I equally fear being seen as ‘mutton dressed as lamb’  … you know, one of those women who insist on dressing like their daughters (or worse still…. their granddaughters) … BUT I’m not quite ready for the twinset  and pearls or ‘sensible clothes’ that are befitting of a ‘woman my age’ …whatever that means !!

I’m 50 something … but not dead yet !!!

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the halo effect

7 Jan

We all know it (well at least all of us ‘50 somethings’ do)…that dreaded moment you look closely in the mirror when putting the final touches on, and you see it…. the dreaded halo!!! You know…. that sneaky silver shadow that circumnavigates your hair line. How is it that it just seems to appear overnight with no warning?? One minute you are coloured to your roots, feeling in complete control, tP1080978hen bingo …the next day there is half a centimetre of glow, but not the kind that makes you look angelic.

But wait, it gets worse….there is nothing more scary  than discovering the said halo effect smack in the middle of your loved and trusted hairdresser moving on, forcing you to face the terrifying thought of breaking in a new one…in a hurry!!!  Only a woman can understand that your hairdresser sits right up there next to your gp, gynaecologist and god, when it comes to implicit faith.

So… how DO you know where to go when you are cut adrift?

And when you DO finally find someone, how long does it take to get past thinking that they will never be as good as the last?     

Since ‘going short’ 2 years ago, I have developed an incredibly close bond with the lovely Richelle  ..in fact visiting her every 3 weeks has meant I saw her more than most of my family. We have shared the good the bad and the ugly when it comes to life events… we’ve laughed and we’ve cried, but now (good on her) she is getting on with her own life…and I’m left with nothing but a halo!