Archive | March, 2014

the joke’s on me…

24 Mar

Most of you know of my horror in relation to bad public spelling…you know …when sign-writing goes wrong (not that it’s ok to do it in private , but somehow   it is 1000 times worse when it is painted on a sign that shouts  “I’m stupid”)…So, you can imagine my delight when I came across a painted sign advertising ‘amstaffs’  for sale.P1130213

The handmade advert sign caught my eye and immediately pricked my curiosity, in fact enough that I drove around the block to take another look and snap a photo to share with you all.

After all… how could anyone spell “Mastiff” wrong ? …not once but twice.

However, before putting my fingers to work and taking the high moral ground on this I ‘googled’  the offending word and bugga me, it is a legitimate breed of pup…. an Amstaff is an American Staffy.

Who would have thought it ? but why am I surprised in these times of labradoodles, cadoodles , boxerdoodles, cockerpoos, bossi-poos and ‘bich-poos’  Yes all real, just to name a few  !! check them out

So my apologies to the people on March Street who are doing their best to find homes for their amstaff puppies .. my bad.

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24huge hours of nostalgia…

23 Mar

the 24 hour marathon began with a trip to the zoo last night to see Aussie rockers Daryl Braithwaite and Ross Wilson (from ‘back in the day’ ) sing their hearts out for us…just downhill from the elephants. They transported us back to  our mis-spent youth, while prancing around the stage with their stiff arthritic hips (just like half of the audience)… all I could think was thank god arthritis does effect vocal cords…

Then today it was off to the alma mater to catch up… compare notes… and tell lies about life over the past 40 years.

reunion

 

Most people that ever brave the invitation to attend a reunion …come away glad that they did..and today was no different.

BUT …..It’s late and I’m tired, so I’m going to cheat by posting the following tips from Marie-Claire, about how to handle the small talk if you ever find yourself to attend a school reunion…. enjoy.

What to say if you haven’t quite “lived up to your full potential”

THE SPIN: “I love cuddling up to my big guy every night — he’s my best friend.”
THE TRUTH: Your bullmastiff, Colby, is tired of spooning.

THE SPIN: “My place is cool — it has a sunken living room!”
THE TRUTH: You’re still living in your parents’ basement.

THE SPIN: “I’ll have my girl Joan call you to set up a lunch.”
THE TRUTH: Joan is your cubemate who owes you for covering for her after a four-hour shopping spree.

THE SPIN: “I’m active in children’s charities.”
THE TRUTH: You drop the change from your Big Mac into the Ronald McDonald House box.

THE SPIN: “The family’s great!”
THE TRUTH: Your bro is in jail, your sis is in porn, you haven’t seen the folks since graduation.

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is cleanliness really next to godliness?…

22 Mar

Today when we stopped for lunch on our way back from the north coast, I sat completely absorbed in my people ‘watch and wonder’ state, and I found it hard to take my eyes off a ‘30 Something’  guy sitting nearby. No, not in any inappropriate way… but for a while I couldn’t quite figure out what it was that was odd about him.

After a few minutes, it occurred to me… he was too CLEAN and too PERFECT.

He was casually dressed… but there was nothing  casual whatsoever about his appearance.ken and barbie His freshly cut, short back-n- sides hair, his face  so cleanly shaven that it was shiny, his plain white T shirt was like an ad for washing powder, and his blue demin jeans where the perfect grade of fade, AND had creases ironed into them for goodness sake (who does that these days?)…Then I got to his feet! He was wearing ‘dress thongs’, but his feet looked like he had just had a pedicure. In fact he almost reminded me of Barbie’s  ‘Ken’.

I know this all sounds rather weird; but he stood out because of his unnatural ‘perfection’… just not in a good way.  I couldn’t help but think he would be SO boring…he really looked like he needed to have  a few of his edges roughed up. You know,  some wrinkles in his clothes or tomato sauce stains on his OMO white shirt.

He left me wondering …how is it possible to be too clean ???

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regional living …

21 Mar

We headed up the coast today to visit the ‘92yro Birthday Girl’, and despite having visited the area many many times over the years (as holiday-makers) a couple of things struck me today as we approached town in the off season.

First of all the quality of regional radio, quirky and ‘oh-so-local’ it was hilarious to hear who was having a birthday celebration and what was going on at the local school…interspersed with music that took me back to my youth (guess in some ways, that’s gotta be a good thing).

Next I spied the  local paper. We (and anyone who has visited the area) fondly refer to it as “gods waiting room”… full of retirees and their parents,  the place is certainly a haven for the ‘quiet time of life’ if that’s what you are after…. BUT it’s gotta be disturbing to pick up the local paper and see it full of articles and adverts for disability services, aged care services, pharmaceutical services and FUNERAL services (seems like there is a natural progression going on there).

Let’s face it, while they may all be relevant…. do people really want to read about them in their local paper? Just when I was thinking it couldn’t get any more depressing,  I flicked over and saw the cheery two page colour spread called “The BIG C”… wow can’t get more positive than that.

However, I did manage a huge smile when we walked into the ‘facility’ that is home to Birthday Girl, and we were greeted to the sound of her voice (high soprano) above others, belting out a few tunes in ‘Happy Hour’.  There they were… about 10 of them, with  average age in the vicinity of high 80’s all sitting with scotch or wine in hand, having their Friday afternoon sing-a-long accompanied by a Hawaiian shirt wearing guitarist. P1130052

Who said that growing old needs to be boring ? … and  close to my own heart in the lead up to World Voice Day ….it proved that “Voice Matters”.

Oh ….and P.S… there is little or no internet either so posting this was a nightmare !

there’s nothing basic about black

20 Mar

While it seems that my wardrobe seems to contain quite a number of ‘basic black’ pieces, I have come to the conclusion that there is actually nothing ‘basic’ about them….every item has a very specific use.

Where is this heading ??? I hear you thinking.drawers

Well this morning I was rushing to get ready for work, it was early and the light was not great. I was searching for a particular black singlet top to wear under a coloured jacket…  a fairly standard layered look for a work day.

Now a black singlet shouldn’t be too difficult… BUT there I was rummaging through draws amongst black undies, black camisoles, T shirts and singlets and unable to actually SEE the one I was looking for.

I know all you women will relate to the importance of having the right strap width, correct length and fabric for a particular outfit… so here I was in the poor light emptying draws in a panic to locate the perfect one…. and wishing I loved white.

I’m happy to say it ended well, but it was not until I had decanted all draws, that I turned and put my hand right on it laying on the corner chair. ….phew, emergency averted (AND I made it to work on time).

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circa 1922

19 Mar

On this day 92 years ago, Russian speed-skater Lidia Selikhova was born and so too was John Kelly, a Lancashire Cricketer. Both died in the 70’s …aged 50’Something.

Why is this significant I hear you ask?ninny birthday

Well on this day 92 years ago, my MIL was also born. She is feisty, opinionated, quite deaf  and very.. very…very  short, but also very much alive and kicking.

She lives in an aged care facility and she still can’t accept that she’s not a good candidate for knee, shoulder AND spinal surgeries….

She can’t quite work out why they took her drivers license off her 5 or 6 years ago…and she gets super ‘cross’ if she misses her weekly visit to the hairdresser (OR if they forget to give her salt for her meals). She has a memory like an elephant (for most things) and never leaves her room without baubles and beads that would put a Christmas tree to shame.

What a legend …Happy Birthday Ninny… for what it’s worth I reckon you’ll easily do the ‘century’!!

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would you like drugs with that ?

18 Mar

So I was listening to the radio in the car this morning and I had one of those  “YES YES YES moments”  and cracked up laughing when I heard them discussing TV advertising in the USA.

After three trips to America I can honestly say the ads still amuse me ….

We just can’t compete … but the funny thing is that they are (most often) not meant to be funny.  I have never  before heard drugs, creams, medications of all kinds advertised like ‘must have’ consumer items… whipping up a market and creating a need like they are the latest fashion accessory.

You can just picture the ’50 Something’  folks glued to their TV set  thinking ….

“wow I think I better get me some of that latest  heart failure, blood pressure, high cholesterol, (insert  whatever is your favourite medical condition )  drug, right now, it sounds great. Oh and look at that super packaging !”

…and the ad goes on to list ever possible disclaimer related to the drug itself in a cheery and matter of fact tone…. in other words it may help your problem … but it could kill you in the process.

If you are wondering what I’m banging on about … take a look at this ad for Spiriva (an asthma type medication) but make sure you see it through and listen to  ALL the possible side effects …. would YOU take this drug?

Spiriva Commercial

 Thank god pharmaceutical companies  have not stooped to commercial mass marketing here … yet!… BUT I’ve gotta say it’s  wildly entertaining…

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