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what the ???

23 Jul

I love living in a place where it’s perfectly OK to display one’s cultural or religious perspective overtly and safely, as long as they offend no-one. It’s what makes our country interesting and colourful….But I am completely puzzled and amused when the behaviour doesn’t match the message. Let me explain….

This morning I gave way to a large 4WD that was merging in the traffic. As I sat behind it I couldn’t help but read the bumper  message …

‘Jesus is coming …are you ready? YOU MUST be born again’

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Now I am not a practising Christian, but what the hell… it’s a harmless message and I felt special that it was speaking directly to ME (even if a little fear inspiring). Anyway, smiling to myself I continued driving behind this oversized ‘truck’ and watched as it swerved from one side of the lane to the other…then slowed to a pace well below the speed limit …and then sped up again. An erratic style, to say the very least, (my guess is that there was a telephone involved…but I have no proof).

It made me wonder if he was looking for his chance to be ‘born again’…sooner rather than later …??

After 15 minutes behind this ‘crazy-man’, the road widened and cleared so I had the opportunity to overtake and get out of his way … before one of us met his maker under tragic circumstances.

As I overtook, I was astounded to see the middle aged god-fearing driver look at me and vigorously raise his middle finger by way of  a not-so-pleasant ‘morning greeting’ !!!!

mmm…. now that makes my wonder … should I have reported a stolen car?

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morning mishaps

22 Jul

We’ve all had them … those days that just feel doomed from the outset and you just want to quit before they start. (I’m quick to add that it’s not the way it turned out … but it didn’t feel that way at 8am this morning).

Having rolled over in my warm cocoon just once too often, it was clear I would be pushing it to get to work on time.  So after a speedy shower I started to get myself together and a throw my face on…. but in my haste, I misfired and poked my eyeball with my mascara. Next thing  …stinging like crazy, black goop is running down my face along with the uncontrollable stream of tears.

Trying to mop up my my mess, I raced out the back to feed the precious pooches, only to discover that the geriatric of the two is nowhere to be found… AND … bloody hell, she needs her morning meds.

It’s freezing cold, and the clock is ticking as I run (with eye still pouring) and search every corner of our two acre property.

Now here’s the thing… She is deaf and partially blind ….and, as some of you know, I have my vocal ‘challenge’ …. I was running around like a voiceless, blind and mad woman, mopping up my face  and trying to figure what I would do if I couldn’t find her.old dog

After a very long 20 mins  I turned and saw her waddle nonchalantly across the back lawn, clearly wondering what all the fuss was about.

Job done, it was then back to the bathroom to clean myself up and start the day all over.

The moral to the story is …no matter how much you think you deserve that one last roll over …. DON’T DO IT !!!

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going nuts…

21 Jul

Mr 50Something and I have just recently decided to embrace the 5:2 approach to food…. you know the one where you (almost) starve yourself on two days and eat fairly normally on the other five.

But… in reality the starvation days are not actually starvation at all, with a reasonably generous 500cal to play with, so it’s actually quite manageable.

That is … IF you take notice of every single thing that goes in your mouth…and count it.nuts

In recent months I have embraced nuts as a generally good source of protein and hunger killer… but I was horrified today as I nibbled away on my hot fresh roasted hazelnuts, and discovered that a mere 100gms was MORE than my daily food intake (luckily I stopped at around 60gm…after I nearly choked when I saw the numbers….eeek)

Tell me who could possibly stop at 10-15 hot roasted hazelnuts in a day ?

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beauty in a bottle..or tube..or jar….

20 Jul

Back in the bathroom and reflecting on the tough world of womanhood.

There are products everywhere to…clean, moisturise, tint, tighten, straighten, add body, strip colour, whiten, hold and shine, deodorise and sanitise… and they just keep coming even when you don’t buy them. Sample products that all look like a great offer (everyone likes something for nothing …right?) …and a chance to try something new …(but rarely do).beauty-sweeps

On Wednesday I left the hairdresser with yet another tube of cream styling stuff … my reward for having visited 10 times….. I came home and added it to the collection, wondering why I couldn’t have just had a discount instead.

Now the challenge is to figure what tube does what each morning as I prepare to face the world…. Being ’50Something’   means having the glasses handy so that I can actually read the labels.

The last thing we want is to moisturise with a styling cream that adds body and bounce…..to my face!

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back on the brow…

19 Jul

Way back in the early days of my year-long blog challenge, I made a number of observations about eyebrows…their purpose, their shape, their usefulness, and their contribution to finishing one’s face.eyebrows

Well here I am again, bemoaning the fact that mine are quickly disappearing. They have always been thin and fair…. but they appear to be fading into oblivion with my increasing maturity.

This past week has seen me searching each morning, to find those fine thread-like strands growing above my eyes…so that I could colour them in….you know, join the dots with a pencil from my palette before facing the world.

I’m not craving anything high fashion, nor expecting that the gods are about to smile on me and have me wake up in the morning with thick lush brows … all I want is to NOT look like the elderly women that we are all familiar with …you know the ones that draw a thin black arch over their orbits to replace what nature has so cruelly removed.

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where is the love ?…

18 Jul

Today is a very very sad day, and not one for nonsense or frivolity… but nevertheless it is a day to wonder.

To wonder at the senseless and stupid things that human beings are capable of….. the death of almost 300 innocent people mid flight simply defies  a scrap or logic or an ounce of humanity.

For a change, words fail me….I’m ’50Something’ ….and have nothing to say, except sorry to all of those grieving families.

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panda eyes…

17 Jul

Carrying on in a similar vein as last night ….. I wonder at what point you TELL someone about a personal mess or clothing goof up???

You know the sort of thing… an open fly, dress tucked into knickers, spinach in your teeth, loo paper hanging out your pants…

Well….today I was in a meeting and I became a tad emotional, angry and upset . I wasn’t actually crying however a sneaky tear escaped one eye….before it quickly dried and things moved along nicely.

I left the meeting, chatted to a bunch of people in the hallway, had a coffee with a colleague… then went back to the car where I caught a glimpse of the ugliest panda eyes you can imagine. A huge smudge under one and a corner full of black goop in the other.panda eyes

Bloody hell, why didn’t anyone mention that I looked like a traffic accident ?? (while I was busy feeling quietly smug, as I was sporting my new, fresh hair-do). What does it take for someone (in this case, not even strangers) to give you a quiet whisper telling you to pull yourself together??

Anyway, lessons learned  …

1/ don’t save waterproof mascara for the summer swim season… and

2/ if I ever come across a sister (or mister) who is sporting some unsightly malfunction….I will tell them.

Would you ??

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check out the backside…

16 Jul

How often do you stop to look at your back view before walking out of the house?

It occurred to me this morning, that I spend time putting myself together for the day…. You know, getting the clothes and accessories just right, blow drying hair and then painting my face with ‘layer upon layer’ of moisturiser, sun protection, foundation and blush….BUT I never ever look at what people see from behind.

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Lets face it 50% of the time we are viewed from our rear …so surely it deserves a little attention.

It’s worth checking to see if your skirt is caught in your knickers… you have unsightly undie lines with fat oozing around them…., or if your butt cheeks are eating your trousers… All very unattractive sights for the people travelling at the rear (and no matter how good the ‘front end’ looks …. an ugly backside will be a complete let down for your look).

It took 50 something years for me to appreciate the value of taking a peek back there…but hopefully it will help you prevent any embarrassing slip ups.

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life according to Miss Piggy ….

15 Jul

Today I’m torn, and not sure what to wonder about…the possibilities are endless after a rather bizarre day at work.office

So rather than pondering the nuances of human behaviour… you know, the good the bad and the ugly of office life…I think I’ll try a  Bex, a cuppa tea and a good lie down instead.

BUT … before take to my bed,  I am happy to report the outcome of our tightly controlled scientific observation of lunar patterns (see full moon madness & still mooning, a few days back)

I can finally confirm that YES, we have the same moon behaviour here in Aus as our friends on the other side of the globe… so if moon is full, so too is theirs. Phew… that took a few days to sort, but my foreign correspondent reported back today, with a full moon sighing over Barcelona 2 nights ago.

That’s one big issue sorted.

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a spotlight on the spud…

14 Jul

I feel really lucky to live in a small semi-rural village , and work just 30mins away in the hustle and bustle of a city on the outskirts of Sydney.

Every day I drive 25 of those minutes along the river… through small farms and horse studs . It’s the perfect way to wind up or wind down from work (and it gives me plenty of ‘wondering’ time).

potatosDuring these winter months it’s cold and dark as I weave my way home along the lowlands… past the small farms and market gardens. So you can imagine my surprise when I came across spotlights and headlights in the middle of a paddock this evening.The field was lit up like a showground, yet I struggled to see what was going on at the centre of all the action… until I got a little closer and discovered a massive potato harvesting operation in full swing.

Who would have imagined ? 7pm in the middle of winter and there they were all hands on deck to get the spuds out of the ground. I couldn’t decide whether it was admirable or mad… but I guess when your spuds are done they’re done, and the market wont wait.

Just one more damn good reason that I’m not a farmer… (but thank goodness some people are… otherwise where would our chips come from?)

 

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