Those of you who have been keeping up with my daily nonsense will be aware of my fear around changing hairdressers…. this might just help you to understand the reason for some of my anxiety.
Now I didn’t set foot inside.. I just parked at the door… but hey if I was an Age Persioner I might just be tempted.
(my three favourite topics…hair…signage …and spelling errors… all in one post!)
Well it’s not too often that we can say that we’re pleasantly surprised with the cost of health care… BUT today I popped into a local massage practice to see what they could do for my “shampoo 
injured shoulder”….(yep that’s right ….muscle injury sustained while shampooing in the shower).
Anyway..after a good 30 mins of massage, complete with hot rocks and oil…I dressed and paid the bill to find the gap payment was a grand total of $3.00. ….less that the proposed gap payment for a visit to the GP (not that I want to get political …but all my Aussie friends will know what I am on about).
Don’t get me wrong here… I’m loving it… BUT I just don’t understand !!
Driving home tonight I looked up and saw the amazing full moon…. then thought to myself …mmm where else have I seen that today?
Not once or twice …but THREE times in the one day I have had ‘full moons’ inflicted on me in the form of oversized, white and very very hairy male buttocks. What’s with that???
The first was a large and lovely young man who was helping load some things into my 
car… As he bent into the back seat his ‘less-than-designer’ grey trakkie dacks crept waaay too low revealing waaay too much flesh and suggesting that there were no undies anywhere to be seen.
I soon got on with my day and headed to a meeting. There I met another ‘extra-generously’ proportioned young man who pulled up a chair to sit beside me. As he did HIS low-rise ill fitting jeans snuck well below his ‘crackline’ where they stayed for the entire gathering. (I must admit the ’50Something’ mother in me was just as worried 
about him being cold, as I was about his flesh oozing for the world to see).
Finally as I was heading back to the office, I passed a third heavyweight gent. He zipped past me on a motorbike with both cheeks hanging out and his jacket flapping in the wind…
It got me to wondering if this is some kind of sign … and if so what on this earth (or moon) it is???
Today I wonder ….
“why do we all feel guilty & slam our foot on the brake, when we spot a highway patrol car?”
I mean even when you know you’re not speeding, there is this overwhelming sense of paranoia that kicks in, and before you know it your palms are sweaty, your grip on the steering wheel gets that little bit tighter and you can’t take your eyes off the speedo…. a recipe for disaster really.
Today I was calmly minding my own business as I approached one of those big yellow flashing message boards that shouts out your speed in bright lights for the whole world to see. Then I glanced in my rear view mirror and spotted a police car…. argh panic !
I scored 54KPH in a 60 zone… followed by a giant flashing ‘thank you’… all I could think was I hope that friendly police officer saw my score, and just how grateful the monitor was for my careful driving… now follow someone else!…PLEASE.
Some time ago I made mention of some of the more unusual radio and TV commercials that I was hearing .. adverts for all sorts of crazy things, from burial plots to the funeral plans that help you on your way to them.
BUT a couple of days ago my (nowhere near 50something) daughter pointed out that she had been streaming a USA station where she was hearing a non stop run of ads for adoption of real live children. I couldn’t believe it …
I struggle to imagine going about my business and hearing an ad that’s meant to make me think about adopting a child … and having a spontaneous thought, yeah I think I will do that, right after a get my hair done and pick up the groceries.
I couldn’t decide whether to laugh or cry… but I guess its a reasonable thing to wonder about on Mother’s Day.
I hadn’t been to a K Mart store for ages; that is up until today when I rushed in after work…. and I must say I was (mostly) very impressed. It was light, bright, fresh and cheap…. I just wish that I was in less of a rush so that I could take it all in.
BUT when it was time to pay and leave the store ….I couldn’t find the checkouts. I thought to myself how in the hell can you lose a bunch of cash registers and check-out staff ???? Well let me tell you….it’s easy when they don’t exist.
Eventually I saw them…. the bank of self serve robots obscured to the side of the shop. No staff, other than the ‘trouble-shooter’ who comes when the robot machine yells at you to ‘bag your item’. or ‘remove your goods from the bagging area’…..and yep she yelled at me…loud and clear as I fumbled to ‘pack n stack’ my bulky goods, while simultaneously balancing my wallet, phone and glasses… AND swiping my card at the same time.
With nowhere to put things down, a sense of panic mounts as this monotone machine seems to be stuck on repeat getting louder and louder each time..
Up until today it had been my mission to avoid self serve systems… (my small and somewhat vain protest against getting rid of humans and saving jobs)…BUT it appeared I had little or no choice in the ‘new look’ K Mart; although I later discover there are a few humans tucked away at a kiosk in the middle of the store….clearly hidden to avoid drawing attention to them….we couldn’t have them busy and showing up the robots now, could we? .
Having spend over an hour scrubbing every nook and cranny of George…I ask myself what in the world possessed me to buy him in the first place.
Like lots of kitchen gadgets and appliances that promise the world..(and then deliver nothing but full cupboards and painstaking hours of cleaning), my George Foreman was nothing more than ‘a good idea at the time’.
The thought of grilling my lamb chops between non stick surfaces while watching all that fat drip into a tray instead of making its way onto my bum, was clearly appealing ‘way back when’….. BUT that was then !
NOW? …Well, after digging him out of the cupboard yesterday to give him a second chance at life, I discovered that he has lost all of his teflon coating (which was probably toxic anyway), the fat doesn’t drain into the tray(actually it never really did, it just bypasses the tray to drip all over the kitchen bench), the cupboards are too full to house him…and the damn cord was always too short.
As a kitchen appliance & gadget guru George…, you make an excellent Heavyweight Boxer.
Picture this… I am in a store waiting to purchase 2 new autumn tops (that’s not important ~ just wanted to share my bargain), all around the store are signs saying 40% off EVERYTHING, but also on the counter is a small display offering 10% discount to students.
A young man approaches the counter ahead of me and asks the shop assistant how he goes about getting the student discount.
She smiles and replies that there is 40% off EVERYTHING and therefore the student discount does not apply.
Puzzled he asks again … ‘but what do I need to do to get the 10%?’
Again she responds calmly and says that all he needs to do is show his student card, HOWEVER today it does not apply because there is 40% of EVERYTHING.
He insisted that he would like to have the student discount because he is a Uni student …and she said … ‘OK that’s fine, just double checking that you would rather have the 10% discount than the 40% storewide discount’?
He stood there, mouth wide and thinking, then after some time replied …’well maybe the 40% would be a better deal… eh’?
Let’s just hope he is not studying mathematics.
Today I was playing domestic goddess ! Transported back to my childhood in the 60’s 
when my Mum and Nan managed to fill their entire day with getting the laundry done.
As I have admitted here before …when it comes to laundry I am not a match on my forebears; in fact when it comes to most things domestic … I get by… but I am certainly no Martha Gardener.
Anyway today was a perfect autumnal day, I had a pile of washing AND a pressing assignment to write. Now as many of you have heard me say…there is no better motivation for housework than a looming essay. I managed to get several loads of washing done and hung… then shuffled and rehung…then folded and (no …not yet ironed) while contemplating whether or not to start writing.
Here I am writing to YOU while still thinking about where to start the essay. Good thing I work best under pressure, eh?
Today I met a friend for coffee in an unfamiliar… yet ‘oh so familiar’ shopping mall in Sydney. I say unfamiliar because it is not one I frequent normally… yet familiar because once inside, that are all so ‘same same’.
That is … except for the carpark.
Oh my goodness I felt like I was driving in a foreign country as I tried to negotiate the unfamiliar space, complete with construction work…barriers…one way signs and temporary redirection signs. The markings on the ground were confusing to say the least with arrows having been re-routed… and at one stage I found myself going up the down ramp !!!
Now I don’t know a great deal about traffic flow …BUT I was part of a “way-finding strategy working party” (yes I work for a Gov’t Dept) for a new Health facility …and I know that the signage in this particular car park would have failed miserably on any way-finding measurement scale.
Shame on you Macquarie Centre …lets hope the new look centre is worth all the bingles, road rage, lost cars and frayed nerves.
Here endeth the rant 😉
Wonder Years 