Tag Archives: nonsense

driving blind…

10 Jul

How is it that you can drive the same route every day… yet not actually see what’s going on?

As any regular followers will know, I often comment on the quirky, nonsensical and useless things that catch my attention while driving to or from work… You know, the ‘odd’ numberplate, bad spelling on a street or shop sign, crazy pedestrian behaviour…. anything really.

So you can imagine my own surprise when today I noticed a brand new house en route …  I have never seen it before, yet it’s clearly been under house buildingconstruction for many weeks if not months.

How does that happen?

Now I’m not talking about a new project home in a housing estate …. I’m talking about semi-rural living where generously proportioned homes take prime position on small or medium sized acreage. I know I’m driving to the conditions and attentive on the road; but it seems that somehow the busy and often odd thoughts going on in my brain must block out the more ‘routine’  sights along the way.

I can tell you about the cat laying in the window of a house I passed …. yet I can’t see a house …go figure!

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big brother navigates…or does he?

7 Jul

My, how times are changing. The days of the humble street directory are fast vanishing along with telephone books and post offices. Don’t misinterpret this as a necessarily negative thing…just a puzzling phenomenon that makes me wonder what comes next.

So… Today I had a giggle when driving through a suburban street and I passed a car with a ‘super tall’ camera strapped to its roof. As it slowly navigated lawnmowerthe narrow roadways, it was recording the street view for ‘one or another‘ satellite navigation system. How strange to think the guy mowing the lawn minus his shirt will be captured in cyberspace and pop up when anyone googles that humble household.

But  you’ve got to admit the whole ‘sat-nav’ thing is pretty amazing technology… and something that many of us have come to love….(even with those crazy cyborg voices). BUT don’t be fooled, those small talking screens don’t know everything …even when they think they do.

satnav3Last night we were weaving through the cold, dark, city streets of Sydney, when our ‘not-so-friendly’ autopilot insisted that we turn right at a no-right-turn intersection…The instructions came fast and furious to ‘make a legal U turn’ … (now YOU try THAT on Oxford Street !) …A quick whip around the block resolved the issue with no guidance other than our own sense of direction (and ‘Sally Sat-Nav’ still yelling at us).

The morals of the story are… (1) make sure you are dressed and have your lippy on when gardening…and (2) don’t blindly trust ‘Sally Sat-Nav’…you never know when she will lead you astray!

(but some of us ’50Something’ women are like that!)

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birds of a feather …

6 Jul

the birds

I have never professed to be a nature expert …not even close.

I mean yes, I like to admire the beauty of a landscape or sunset…and I do like small furry creatures …. but when it comes to actually knowing anything about ethology or the environment I’m pretty hopeless.

If we take this a step further and consider bird-life and the habits of our feathered friends … then I draw a complete blank.

This brings me to my (pretty pointless) point.

Driving home the other day, I crossed the bridge and noticed a gathering, pack, group, gang, flock…(well a whole bunch)… of black birds perched high on the electricity bird on cablecable. There they sat, about 30 of them grouped tightly in a row, high above the MIDDLE of the river. There was plenty of cable remaining either side of them but they were huddled close, all perfectly positioned and facing the same direction, a bit like an army regiment on parade.

As I drove on, it got me thinking about the life of a bird and I realised just how much I don’t know … Like… what DO they do all day ? Surely they get tired of hanging around in the air, and if they stop to rest, they have to perch on a branch, (or worse still a cable like the ones in question), and cling on tight with those poor little claws. No kicking back and relaxing at all… and as far as I know they even sleep in that position, which doesn’t sound like much fun to me.

If there happens to be an ornithologist reading this nonsense, you may care to shed some light on the subject to help me (and no doubt, others) to more fully appreciate the life of these small feathered creatures.

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please explain …

11 Jun

If the plural of fish is fish ~  why is the plural of dish, dishes ?

(50Something and still solving the big issues)

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3 strikes…

10 Jun

Funny how suddenly out of the blue you can have a bizarre and strange run of good luck…luck

This time last week I was feeling more than a little ‘blah’ then it all changed … I opened my on-line scrabble game and my tiles had been dealt spelling me a 7 letter word without any need for thinking… SCORE !!! 100points !

Next day I put on a jacket to find $20 in the pocket…obviously tucked away safely since last winter…SCORE!!! $20 !

Finally, last night cleaning the accumulated road-rip rubbish from the floor of the car after our weekend away,  I reach under the seat to discover my work I.D badge that’s been lost for months …SCORE !!! (priceless given the hospital security that’s encoded…and my devastation at the thought of needing to report it lost…oops).

I wonder if I should buy a lottery ticket ?

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31 May

teethI have always had a ‘thing’ for teeth…. (I think you will agree, a great smile can really set off even the most aesthetically challenged face …within some limitations) and they are often the first thing I notice when I meet someone.

But this past week has been full of odd and very random dental observations.

Mid-week I read an article about the supposed ‘new fashion’ that it taking over from skin tattooing. It involved having tattoo-like images created on crowns, so you could flash your tatt when you smile. The crowns were portrayed almost like a piece of jewellery with custom art … ALL you need is to destroy a tooth or two,(and have a pocket full of money…they weren’t cheap).  BUT, as silly as it sounds…I guess when you no longer want it, you either keep your mouth shut or have it replaced with a sparkling new, pearly white one….

Next there was my very odd dream.. It was hailing canines and molars, and Mr50something and I were running around collecting them from the ground to see which ones looked, and fitted best  a bit like a treasure hunt ….. (I have nothing more to say about that … other than the words COMPLETELY BIZARRE)

Finally, we went along to the Lyric Theatre to see Strictly Ballroom; sitting in the nose bleed section, with an amazing birds eye view of all that ‘extreme fluoro and glitter‘ … the thing that glowed as brightly as all the disco ball, was the teeth of some of the characters. I don’t know if it was a costuming effect or simply a case of great sets of chompers being highlighted by stage lighting, either way they were dazzling.

I have no idea what if anything all this tooth talk is telling me, or why I am writing about it  but its just another one of life’s little curiosities and a window to my world.

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measuring up …

28 May

Well here I am home again after last nights drug induced adventure … a bit worse for wear but all good (thank goodness for ice cream) .ice cream

So tonight we go back to nonsense and trivia … and solving the big issues.

This morning while tucking into my mini ice ream tub, I noticed that it was a home grown Tassie brand of treat, carrying the usual nutritional information (did you know there is only 98 calories in a small tub?..well that one anyway)… BUT I was staggered to see that it was labelled as being 3oz content weight…. what the?

Is Tasmania seriously THAT far behind that they still talk in pounds and ounces? I know they are tucked way down low… but surely they heard we went metric back in the early 70’s.

tassieStrangely enough I then had a conversation with a buddy later  today who made the comment ‘ah the penny drops’….followed by… ‘or is that the cent?’  (yes decimal currency arrived in 1966).

It made me stop and think how confused we can get over different measurement systems…and how we pick and choose what works for us.

I mean …. I know my weight in kg… but my height in feet and inches; I talk measurement in centimetres but ‘Mr 50something’ ONLY talks in millimetres; I talk temperature in centigrade .. but when its damn hot will always think how close it is to 100deg F? It’s long enough since we changed from pounds shillings and pence … so no big problems there … but the metric changes are a curious mix.

Our recent trips to USA just highlighted our confusion, where everything is gallons, pints, miles per hour and fahrenheit temperatures …. (but then it’s still yesterday there right now …so I guess we can forgive 😉 )

BUT Seriously Tasmania what’s going on with my 3oz ice cream ??

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I like to watch …

25 May

There is no doubt that people watching is the cheapest and most entertaining way to spend your time.

If you add to this a perfect autumn day, a boat-ramp and a procession of men showing off the manhood through the size of their boats and their maritime skills …then it’s been a perfect day. boat ramp

Their need to abide by boat ramp etiquette… while being speedy and executing a ‘precision launch’ (because everyone is watching) is a recipe for disaster… Not to mention more than a few laughs (well polite sniggers) from the onlookers.

boat ramp 2From the shocking attempt to reverse in a straight line….and ending up the gutter…, to letting go of the rope and having the boat float ‘just out of reach’ … it’s a laugh a minute.

So if you are every feeling low and need that little something to give you a lift, take a chair, your sunblock  and  your dark sunglasses to hide behind… and head to the nearest boat ramp.

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what’s the parson got to do with it?

23 May

chookGenerally speaking my choice in food is fairly healthy… but my one real weakness is the chooks bum… parson’s nose…sultan’s nose …pope’s nose (or “pygostyle” to be formal).

Call it what you will …there is nothing better that that tender juicy (and oh so fatty) little bulge at the chooks vents. …. as long as it is extra well cooked and crunchy on the outside.

BUT I have  a problem….

…you see,  the local BBQ chicken store seems to lose a lot of bums. I have no idea where they go ( UNLESS there is someone in the shop that loves them too …and perhaps helps them to fall off during the rotisserie process). chook 2

It’s become so ridiculous that I now ask for a BBQ Chicken “with a bum.. please”.

This odd request is made even more amusing given my vocal challenge… 99% of the time I am asked to repeat myself…but  I never know if it is difficulty understanding me or understanding why I would be making such an odd request.

I know that they are not good for me … but it’s one small indulgence, that is not only tasty, but somehow provides a degree of illicit amusement. They never ever make it all the way home without being eaten in the solitude of my car (but shhhhh… don’t tell anyone)

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let them eat cake…

20 May

Sitting in a cafe waiting for a friend and I stare in disbelief at those ‘perfect’ cakes in the rotating refrigerator. They looked amazing… almost TOO amazing…. like the goodies from the Cheesecake Shop only far more glamorous … How can they be so meticulously crafted ? (how can every one of them come out of the pan with straight sides and ironing board flat tops?).cake

Anyway .. back to the rotating fridge… I began to wonder how long they last? I’m sure I saw the exact same specimens in that glass display yesterday (and they were probably there the day before ~ but I wasn’t).

It got me wondering …. what IS the statute of limitations on a cafe cake? … and who has the job of actually disposing of something so luscious when it’s technically past it’s use-by date?

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